I woke up one morning so tired that I would’ve sold my soul to the devil for an extra hour’s sleep. The type of tired that I felt is something that you have no clue about, unless you have been there. Felt it.
I started going through the motions of life, simply because I had to. I had to work, so work I did. I had to study, so study I did (how much I actually took in is debatable). Going out with friends required brushing my hair and getting dressed, a thought far too exhausting so cancelling was easier.
One night when I was driving home a robot turned red, like robots do.
The mere thought of a minute’s delay to get home was simply too much, so I bursted
into tears. It was at this point that I realised I had burned myself out and
carrying on, pushing, was simply no longer an option.
I went to see my soul coach (or, what most people will call, counsellor
– though her role in my life far exceeds the way you’d define “counsellor”). It
amazes me what you can achieve through constellation work (healing on a soul
level). It was during this session that I learned a lesson which I will hold
near and dear to my heart for the rest of this life;
Honour your journey, trust the path
that you are on. Respect who you are right here and now. There is absolutely no
need to rush anything – where you are is perfect. What is meant to be, will be.
Between all the medical treatments, it was the treating of the soul
that did the world of good. I woke up yesterday morning, for the first time in
months, feeling like I could conquer the world, instead of hiding from it.
That said, the one “medical” treatment that I did see value in was
going to a biokineticist. In my last session she indicated that we’ll be doing
some posture work. The one exercise involves pulling back your shoulders, the
aim is to straighten your shoulders and, as a result, your back. It was at this
point that I realised I wished I had listened to my mom when I was younger, she
always told me “skouers terug en rug regop”, which roughly translates to “shoulders
back and keep your back straight”. I had to laugh, it turns out that mom does
know best.
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