Day three – the fear of…

1.   Snakes. I firmly believe that all snakes’ heads should be chopped off and that they should be burned. My fear is so intense that even the movie Snakes on a Plane will leave me shaking out the bed sheets. Mother fucking snakes…  

2.   I think I might have a slight issue with reptiles in general. I fear frogs. Not as bad as snakes, but I have been known to let out little yelps when one hops my way.

 

3.   Heights – I actually tremble in my boots.  

4.   Parktown prawns – those beady-eyes are creepy. Whenever Meeko brings me a parktown prawn as a present, which happens more often that I like, I am normally found on something with me feet up, saying “nice kitten, so clever, now-please-take-that-fucking-thing-out-of-here”.  

5.   Failing a subject. I am 28 and doing my first year in BA Psychological Counselling. By my calculation, and if I can stick to the plan, I will be done with my BA by June 2016. I fear failing a subject because it will set me back and instead of being done in 2016, I’ll only be done in 2017.  

6.   “What if…”  

7.   That something bad will happen to someone I love and I was unable to prevent it or protect them from it.  

Last, but surely not least, my biggest fear…  

I don’t do the coochy-coo thing when I see babies, nor do I get excited at the prospect of being a mother, I don’t go around telling the world how we are longing for a child, I get darn annoyed when people tell me that I must have children NOW (because I am getting old) and, yes, at one stage I wanted to remain childless. This has led to some people thinking that I eat children for breakfast. Sorry to disappoint, I don’t.

 

8.   My biggest fear is being a parent.

Unlike most I don’t see having children as a natural progression of life. I see it as taking on the responsibility of another human being’s soul, of their welfare – and that scares me. I fear saying something to my child, that years later on they will remember and it will still hurt like hell.  

So there you have it – the next door neighbour’s child is not on the breakfast menu.

Day two – nine loves

The list of loves, and likes, is endless. Narrowing it down to only nine is quite the challenge.

• Bf takes the number 1 spot.
• Our kittens, Meeko and Tulip. There is so much love in those little fur-faces.

• Christmas time. I am a sucker for a pine tree with glitter over it, stockings that contain presents, the wrapping and unwrapping, but, most of all, I love getting together with family and friends, that warm fuzzy feeling of ‘this is what it is all about’.
• The beach. Splashing in the waves, toes in the sand, basking in the sun and an ice-cream. The beach makes me feel like a child all over again, and I am known to behave accordingly.  

• Harry Potter. I have seen the movies countless times and have read all seven books about five times. I love Harry Potter.
• Books, the printed kind. I simply love reading and if I can get my house smelling like a secondhand bookshop, I will be the happiest person in the world.
• Rob Zombie. I have a not-so-secret crush on the man.

 Picture: Google. Sorry but I don't have a 'I took that picture of Rob Zombie'. Still working on it.

• Metal music – and anything that involves and electric guitar and screaming vocals.
• Penguins. No, cupcakes. Penguins. Cupcakes, definitely penguins. Can someone please bake me some penguin shaped cupcakes?

The 10 Day YOU Challenge

I have mentioned once before that I love a challenge, so when my friend, Girl from Mars, took up the challenge I thought “heck, why not”. This is a 10 Day YOU Challenge – it looks easy, but once you get started you are left doing a bit of head scratching, or rather, soul-searching. 

The challenge goes a little something like this:
Day one – ten secrets
Day two – nine loves
Day three – eight fears
Day four – seven wants
Day five – six places
Day six – five foods
Day seven – four books
Day eight – three films
Day nine – two songs
Day ten – one picture (of yourself).

Picture: For The Beauty Of It

Feel free to join in!

 
So here is my day one – 10 secrets (in no particular order).

1.   I hate my toes and my fingers – they look like chipolatas. I’d trade in my two front-teeth for elegant toes and fingers.

2.   I have duck feet. No really. My feet are so broad that I will never be able to wear elegant strappy shoes – ever. When I shoe shop, I deliberately go for chucky shoes, and when I find a pair that fits, I buy it in every colour. Please don’t stare at my feet next time you see me…

3.   I haven’t worn a pair of shorts since I was 13. I am extremely self-conscious about my legs and, as such, I avoid shorts. Unless of course they come up to my knee, those are cool.

4.   I have never been outside the country.

5.   I believe that you should fake it until you make it. We all strive to achieve something, but getting there takes time. By faking it, like you’ve already made it, you develop a certain amount of confidence, or at least you bullshit people into thinking so.  

6.   I don’t have patients, at all. If I want something, I want it NOW! For example, waiting for my study material, even just a few days, is nothing short of pure torture and not to mention waiting for results! I’ll visit the myUnisa site, where all the exam information is published, 110 times an hour. No exaggeration.

7.   I haven’t read 60% of the books I own. I love books, and I do read them, unfortunately I just seem to buy them faster than I can read them.

8.  I don’t forgive. If someone hurts me really bad, I won’t forgive and forget. It’s a huge personality flaw. There are even some incidents I can date pinpoint the unforgivable event.  

9.   I drop the f-bomb on occasions (I am cautious about when and where though) and in the (questionably) wise words of Limp Bizkit’s frontman, Fred Durst, “fuck is just a word, and it’s all fucked up”.

10. The person I admire the most is my bf. He is the single most kind-hearted person in the world, who has an amazing amount of tolerance and patients, and he always sees the good in someone, even if they don’t see it themselves. He rocks. 

The (not-so) secret ingredients for change

I have quite the soft spot for cupcakes, Smarties, ice-cream and (more than I should) biltong – anytime of the day or night, and finishing a packet of NikNaks – no problem there either. Like most I knew my lifestyle was not the healthiest and over the years I have tried changing it, each time failing dismally. Until now. 

I am officially halfway into week three of my USN12-Week Challenge. Now I realise that I am still in the ‘easy’ phase, but trust me it hasn’t been challenge free. 

On day seven we were invited to a friend’s birthday – at an Italian restaurant. Not only did I have to say no to delicious looking pizzas and pastas, but I had to avoid the cupcake table too. I had visions of running past the table and diving face first into the cupcakes, and, at one stage, I thought, “one cupcake, surely it can’t make that much of a difference?”. Truth is, it can. One cupcake could’ve set me back those seven days, and that is when I made a conscious decision that I will stick out the 12 weeks – no cheating.

So why did I fail in the past with changing my lifestyle? Simple. I didn’t have goals, the knowledge, a plan of action or a reward system. I believe that these are four vital ingredients to any behavioural change. 

The goals. My goals are not in kilograms or fat percentage, but rather in perception. My goal is to look in the mirror and like what I see. To know that I look the best that I can. 

Also, I have never owned a pair of shorts (and my dresses and skirts are all knee-length). For once in my life I would love to own a pair of cute shorts, which I wear to flaunt it, rather than (boardshorts) to hide it. 

Gain the knowledge. Now here I am quite privileged. Because I work in wellness, I am exposed to things like what is a healthy lifestyle, the healthier choice and what healthy weight loss is. But remember, Google is your friend. If you don’t know then read up about it or ask. (PS: One of my favourite websites is ShapeMag.)

Go and see the dietician or fitness consultant. Spend the money to see a professional and know you are doing it right rather than attempting it on your own. Not finding out the necessary know-how can lead to you not seeing results and giving up. If you are interested in the USN 12-Week Challenge, contact USN for any tips or advice – they are great at getting back to you. 

Have a plan of action. Changing something is like finding your way to a place for the first time, you need directions. I took about two months reading up about low GI food, the USN products and getting together some recipes. Based on my research, I then selected my USN products and drew up a meal plan. I also made sure I knew how to do the exercises properly – to optimise results and ensure that I don’t hurt myself.

The reward system. If you work hard, you deserve a little reward. Once a week I treat myself to some guilt-free dessert. While you can have the USN Protein Dessert every day, I prefer to use it as my reward. I also plan to extend my tattoo once I have reached week six, and to get a decent pair of jeans after the 12 weeks.

To add some sprinkles to the ingredients

A lifestyle change requires commitment – remind yourself why you are making the change, what the benefits are and visualise yourself having reached your goals. 

Dedication – say no to that cupcake. Get up on a Saturday morning and go to gym, run that extra two minutes. 

Motivation – when those last four lunges seem impossible the drill sergeant in my head reminds me that today’s weakness is tomorrow’s strength. And in any case impossible actually is (I'm)possible. 

Cut it out – your taste buds will adjust. Cutting out the sugar out of my coffee was hard. When I started the USN 12-Week Challenge I was still putting in half a teaspoon of sugar. A friend then gave me the advice; cut it out – your taste buds will adjust – and it has.

Support – it helps – a lot! When we were at the Italian restaurant, bf didn’t mention once how nice the pizza was, only when we got home did he say that was the best pizza he has ever had. I appreciate that. It’s the small gestures of support and words of encouragement from bf, my (wine loving) friends and my mom. 

When it comes to a healthy lifestyle, I often hear people say, but I don’t have the time. I don’t think it’s time you need, it is support (think about it), but that is another blog for another time.

Review: Linkin Park, Living Things Album

Hidden in my perfectly alphabetised CD collection, under the letter “B”, are all the Backstreet Boys albums. Yip, back in the day I was quite the pop princess, not something I like to admit, but we all have our dark secrets. 

My taste in music changed one day in 2001. I was lazing in front of the telly, like most matriculants do, watching MTV, when on came a band called Linkin Park. I loved the combination of the screaming vocals and rap, not to mention the sound of the electric guitar.

What started out with Linkin Park progressed to Korn, Rob Zombie, Slipknot, Disturbed, Apocalyptica and Amon Amarth – to name a few bands known by the average person.

While I was introduced to a world of wonderful bands, Linkin Park held a special place for me and I remained a great fan. Hybrid Theory and Meteora benchmarked Linkin Park as a nu-metal band, taking music to a new level with their brilliant and unique sound. 

Then came Minutes To Midnight. While the album wasn’t a complete disaster, it wasn’t the band’s best attempt either. But, I reasoned, no band can bring out masterpieces all the time. Korn’s Korn III: Remember Who You Are and Marilyn Manson’s High End Of The Low are good examples. 

However, the release of A Thousand Suns was like an asteroid the size of Texas hitting Earth. Enough said. 

Living Things review
When I first heard Linkin Park was bring out a new album I cringed ever so slightly.

One of my favourite online music webzine, Music Review, reviewed the album and gave it 85/100, stating that “LIVING THINGS is the band at its finest in years…”. The reviewer included that the group has (constantly) reaffirmed that they’ve moved away from the nu-metal sound. So I wasn’t expecting the Linkin Park that was.

The first three songs were listenable and it gave me the hope that I would be clicking on the ‘Like’ button on Linkin Park’s Facebook page. The tracks that followed made me realise that never again will I click that ‘Like’ button. 

A complete overkill on the electronic sounds, which drowns out Chester Bennington’s vocals on some parts, made me want to bounce the ball in mockery. Other songs made me want to take out the album and recheck that it really is Linkin Park and not some boy band from my previous life. Perhaps Linkin Park should contact Wade Robson to choreograph some synchronised moves for them during their next tour.

Both Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda have insanely brilliant voices. Mr Hahn clearly still got the moves and Rob, Brad and Phoenix are still masters in their respective instruments. The lyrics to the songs are still deep and meaningful, but the sound is awful.

I remember the last time I bought a Backstreet Boys album. I listened to the first two songs then shoved it in my CD collection and forgot about it. The same will happen to Linkin Park, the exception being that I listened to Living Things twice (all the way through).

Living Things is a sad reminder of a band that was and will never be again – and I can’t get over it.

Listenable tracks: Lost In Echo, In My Remains, Burn It Down – skip to track 7 – Victimized – eject CD.

For the love of a good book

When I was a child I use to walk up the road to my mom’s workplace after school. I’d pop in say hello, and then run across the road to the library. There I would stay until the librarian would remind me it is 16:30 – home time. I grew up in a library. I grew up surrounded by books. 

Today I cannot walk into a bookshop without walking out with a book, or two, and I never give a book away or sell it. As a teenager I read SweetValley, give me a break ok, I’m a girl. I actually started collecting the books and had well over 250 books (ranging from Sweet Valley Kids to University). In Varsity I gave it away. Yup, GAVE IT AWAY. I regret it more than accidently spilling acetone on my iPhone 4. I swore never again. Hence, I keep every book I buy. 

I realise that in another 10 years I might need a room to store my books in, which suits me fine. In fact my aim is to one day have a reading room with a large comfy chair, fireplace and bookshelves of all shapes and sizes. Here is a walk through my perfect reading room;

Minus the ornaments and wasted cupboard space. Visualise rows and rows of books.

I simply love this bookshelf! In fact I have convinced bf that one day when we have children, yes my Trend Stalking friend plural, this will be the centrepiece of the child’s room. Except it’ll be the child’s name.

I love open and airy spaces so another window would be fabulous! With the chair of course, comfort is important if you are planning on spending hours reading.

 I spotted this canoe-bookshelf at a shop in Clarens. I think it’ll fit in well with my collection of bookshelves.  

Now what would a reading room be without a fireplace? The stepladder isn’t a bad idea either.

Here are some other bookshelf ideas which I simply love, and will have to make space for;

 

Now you must think I am crazy considering that we live in a digital world and I can have every single book I desire on one device. I have the Kindle app for my iPad, and every other book app you can think of, but it is simply not the same. I love turning a page and the smell of books. As long as I am around, print will never go out of fashion, all for the love of a good book.

Best I go and pick bf off the floor. Once he sees this, he will faint – guaranteed. 

For fabulous, practical, easy to implement, home ideas visit www.thefurnishingtouch.co.za.

Lessons learned from a man named Robert

A friend once told me that people come into your life for reasons, seasons or a lifetime. It amazes me that some lessons can come from the most untraditional source, someone who is briefly in your life. For me, it is a man named Robert. 

Never judge a book by its cover. It is an old lesson I try and live my life by, especially after meeting Robert. His life story, passion, humour and confidence in who he, quickly taught me that there is so much more to a person than the exterior.

It’s not what you are, it’s about who you are. This lesson combines with the one above. Who you are is what is inside of you – your gender, race, hair colour and eye colour doesn’t matter. What matters is who you are. 

Fairy tales happen. Robert and his wife’s love, and like of each other, blossomed from friendship, through one of the biggest transformations a man could go through. Real life fairy tales are when your partner knows your past, goes through your present with you and is willing to be there in your future. 

There is a difference between love and like. This was probably one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. I remember Robert asking me once if I like my boyfriend, my immediate reaction was “I love him”. It was only when I found myself in a situation where I truly loved someone, but no longer liked them, that Robert’s words came flooding back to me – “you can love someone with your whole heart, but do you like the person?”

Know who you are. This lesson inspired the blog entry you are reading now. A few years ago Robert signed my copy of “Trans”, his life story appears in the book. At the time I looked at the message and though, “how odd, what is that suppose to mean?” A few days ago I picked up the book and read the message again, I now get it;

And to answer Robert’s question from back then, no, “Foxy” was never a part of my identity.

It is a message from a man named Robert that made me realise I know who I am – the good and the bad – I know.