I should’ve listened to my mom – and a little lesson I learned

I have been struggling with my lower-back since last year October, in short my muscles went into spasm and wouldn’t loosen up. I have gone through some drastic measures to get it sorted, including physio, acupuncture, biokinetics and cortisone injections. I didn’t see the spasm for what it really was – my body’s way of saying “hey, hold up, take it easy, slow down”.

I woke up one morning so tired that I would’ve sold my soul to the devil for an extra hour’s sleep. The type of tired that I felt is something that you have no clue about, unless you have been there. Felt it.

I started going through the motions of life, simply because I had to. I had to work, so work I did. I had to study, so study I did (how much I actually took in is debatable). Going out with friends required brushing my hair and getting dressed, a thought far too exhausting so cancelling was easier.

One night when I was driving home a robot turned red, like robots do. The mere thought of a minute’s delay to get home was simply too much, so I bursted into tears. It was at this point that I realised I had burned myself out and carrying on, pushing, was simply no longer an option.

I went to see my soul coach (or, what most people will call, counsellor – though her role in my life far exceeds the way you’d define “counsellor”). It amazes me what you can achieve through constellation work (healing on a soul level). It was during this session that I learned a lesson which I will hold near and dear to my heart for the rest of this life;

Honour your journey, trust the path that you are on. Respect who you are right here and now. There is absolutely no need to rush anything – where you are is perfect. What is meant to be, will be. 

Between all the medical treatments, it was the treating of the soul that did the world of good. I woke up yesterday morning, for the first time in months, feeling like I could conquer the world, instead of hiding from it.

That said, the one “medical” treatment that I did see value in was going to a biokineticist. In my last session she indicated that we’ll be doing some posture work. The one exercise involves pulling back your shoulders, the aim is to straighten your shoulders and, as a result, your back. It was at this point that I realised I wished I had listened to my mom when I was younger, she always told me “skouers terug en rug regop”, which roughly translates to “shoulders back and keep your back straight”. I had to laugh, it turns out that mom does know best. 

The crumpling of New Year’s resolutions

I hate New Year’s resolutions – and hardly ever make them. At some point last year I made a before 2012 end’s resolution, it was quite simple, or so I thought. My year-end resolution was to be able to run 5km. I bought myself running shoes, reflective clothing and a cap. In check was my fully loaded iPod, a Run 5km in 5 Weeks programme and plenty of weeks left to do it in. I was quite looking forward to trotting along the beachside when we went to Durban for Christmas.

What I didn’t bargain on was the illnesses of an *almost* 30-year-old creeping up on me, about 11 months in advance. I have since been told that in your near 30s your back gives in (check), in your 40s your knees and in your 50s your mind. By 60 you don’t care what else goes because it is your mind you miss the most. Back to the resolutions…

As 2013 approached I decided to do the New Year’s resolutions thing. Small, simple and achievable goals (in no particular order);

1. Do my first 5km road run – preferably before Winter.
2. Read more – or at least finish my sparkling new Games of Thrones box set.
3. Spend more time with friends. Last year, due to being a part-time student, some of my favourite people were seriously neglected.
4. Pass seven subjects.
5.  Spend more quality time with bf.

The new year hadn’t even started when my well-intended resolutions started crumbling.

In early January – after a Voltaren injection, two Cortisone injections, chronic medication (or so I was told) and one, still need to happen, neurosurgeon appointment – I realised that my dream to run 5km has to be put on hold. In fact – all training has been put on hold, until such time that I know what is wrong with my lower back and what I can and cannot do (to prevent further injury).

Now the crumpling of resolutions 2 and 3 are as a result of resolution 4. I have registered for four subjects in this semester and, after assessing the workload, I realised that most of my spare time will be dedicated to studying.

In my own stubborn and dedicated way I do try and stick to resolution 2 and 3. I try and read for five minutes every night, normally while brushing teeth (it’s a skill I mastered as a child), and I’ve accounted for special events with friends in my study schedule – my iCal app is by far the most overused app on my devices – everything goes in there.

So far the only resolutions that seem to be doing ok are 4 and 5. To date I have managed to stick to my study schedule. I keep myself going by reminding myself that the faster I complete my subjects and get my BA, the quicker I can get back to this thing called a life. Bf and I are doing our best with this quality business – we now eat at the table and talk instead of in front of the TV. Plus, there are special times in my iCal entitled “Date Night”, in two cases “Date Day”.

I suppose the lesson is this – even the simplest of goals require work. Get off your butt and work on it. It reminds me of why I value reading and am desperate to hit the road; 

"The keys to life are running and reading. When you're running, there's a little person that talks to you and says, "Oh I'm tired. My lung's about to pop. I'm so hurt. There's no way I can possibly continue." You want to quit.

If you learn how to defeat that person when you're running, you will learn not to quit when things get hard in your life.

For reading, there have been gazillions of people that have lived before all of us. There's no new problem you could have – with your parents, with school, with a bully. There's no new problem that someone hasn't already had, and written about it in a book," – Will Smith.  

Day five – six places

1.   Transylvania. No need to reread it, you read correctly – Transylvania. Friends will know that I’ve always said I want to go to Transylvania for honeymoon. No, I don’t want to hunt vampires and werewolves (using the term loosely), those are in Forks – apparently. 

 

2.   London – on 26 November 2012 to be exact. My two favourite artists, Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson, have teamed up in an appropriately named Twins of Evil Tour. I would row to London in a rowboat to see the performance, but alas! I write my last subject on 21 November and to row across the Atlantic, just over 9,000 km, is not possible in five days.

 

3.   Lemnos. Details are unconfirmed but the broad outline is to hook up with some friends in Lemnos next year. We haven’t seen them since July 2010 and I look forward to catching up over lots of wine. 

 

4.   New York. The idea of endless shopping, drinking lattes, taking a jog through Central Park, watching a rock show in Madison Square Garden and enjoying the buzz of the city that never sleeps is quite appealing. And, seeing that New York is a must-visit destination for some of my favourite girlfriends, it would be a double-bonus to hit the Big Apple on an all-girls holiday.

 

5.   Seychelles. Hammock, beach, sun, cocktails and snorkelling… what more could a girl want? 

 

6.   Home. Corny? Of course! Like Dorothy I believe there is no place like home. I love being as snug-as-a-bug next to bf with our kittens curled up next to us. We are quite fortunate that they so willingly share the couch with us…

The 10 Day YOU Challenge

I have mentioned once before that I love a challenge, so when my friend, Girl from Mars, took up the challenge I thought “heck, why not”. This is a 10 Day YOU Challenge – it looks easy, but once you get started you are left doing a bit of head scratching, or rather, soul-searching. 

The challenge goes a little something like this:
Day one – ten secrets
Day two – nine loves
Day three – eight fears
Day four – seven wants
Day five – six places
Day six – five foods
Day seven – four books
Day eight – three films
Day nine – two songs
Day ten – one picture (of yourself).

Picture: For The Beauty Of It

Feel free to join in!

 
So here is my day one – 10 secrets (in no particular order).

1.   I hate my toes and my fingers – they look like chipolatas. I’d trade in my two front-teeth for elegant toes and fingers.

2.   I have duck feet. No really. My feet are so broad that I will never be able to wear elegant strappy shoes – ever. When I shoe shop, I deliberately go for chucky shoes, and when I find a pair that fits, I buy it in every colour. Please don’t stare at my feet next time you see me…

3.   I haven’t worn a pair of shorts since I was 13. I am extremely self-conscious about my legs and, as such, I avoid shorts. Unless of course they come up to my knee, those are cool.

4.   I have never been outside the country.

5.   I believe that you should fake it until you make it. We all strive to achieve something, but getting there takes time. By faking it, like you’ve already made it, you develop a certain amount of confidence, or at least you bullshit people into thinking so.  

6.   I don’t have patients, at all. If I want something, I want it NOW! For example, waiting for my study material, even just a few days, is nothing short of pure torture and not to mention waiting for results! I’ll visit the myUnisa site, where all the exam information is published, 110 times an hour. No exaggeration.

7.   I haven’t read 60% of the books I own. I love books, and I do read them, unfortunately I just seem to buy them faster than I can read them.

8.  I don’t forgive. If someone hurts me really bad, I won’t forgive and forget. It’s a huge personality flaw. There are even some incidents I can date pinpoint the unforgivable event.  

9.   I drop the f-bomb on occasions (I am cautious about when and where though) and in the (questionably) wise words of Limp Bizkit’s frontman, Fred Durst, “fuck is just a word, and it’s all fucked up”.

10. The person I admire the most is my bf. He is the single most kind-hearted person in the world, who has an amazing amount of tolerance and patients, and he always sees the good in someone, even if they don’t see it themselves. He rocks. 

The (not-so) secret ingredients for change

I have quite the soft spot for cupcakes, Smarties, ice-cream and (more than I should) biltong – anytime of the day or night, and finishing a packet of NikNaks – no problem there either. Like most I knew my lifestyle was not the healthiest and over the years I have tried changing it, each time failing dismally. Until now. 

I am officially halfway into week three of my USN12-Week Challenge. Now I realise that I am still in the ‘easy’ phase, but trust me it hasn’t been challenge free. 

On day seven we were invited to a friend’s birthday – at an Italian restaurant. Not only did I have to say no to delicious looking pizzas and pastas, but I had to avoid the cupcake table too. I had visions of running past the table and diving face first into the cupcakes, and, at one stage, I thought, “one cupcake, surely it can’t make that much of a difference?”. Truth is, it can. One cupcake could’ve set me back those seven days, and that is when I made a conscious decision that I will stick out the 12 weeks – no cheating.

So why did I fail in the past with changing my lifestyle? Simple. I didn’t have goals, the knowledge, a plan of action or a reward system. I believe that these are four vital ingredients to any behavioural change. 

The goals. My goals are not in kilograms or fat percentage, but rather in perception. My goal is to look in the mirror and like what I see. To know that I look the best that I can. 

Also, I have never owned a pair of shorts (and my dresses and skirts are all knee-length). For once in my life I would love to own a pair of cute shorts, which I wear to flaunt it, rather than (boardshorts) to hide it. 

Gain the knowledge. Now here I am quite privileged. Because I work in wellness, I am exposed to things like what is a healthy lifestyle, the healthier choice and what healthy weight loss is. But remember, Google is your friend. If you don’t know then read up about it or ask. (PS: One of my favourite websites is ShapeMag.)

Go and see the dietician or fitness consultant. Spend the money to see a professional and know you are doing it right rather than attempting it on your own. Not finding out the necessary know-how can lead to you not seeing results and giving up. If you are interested in the USN 12-Week Challenge, contact USN for any tips or advice – they are great at getting back to you. 

Have a plan of action. Changing something is like finding your way to a place for the first time, you need directions. I took about two months reading up about low GI food, the USN products and getting together some recipes. Based on my research, I then selected my USN products and drew up a meal plan. I also made sure I knew how to do the exercises properly – to optimise results and ensure that I don’t hurt myself.

The reward system. If you work hard, you deserve a little reward. Once a week I treat myself to some guilt-free dessert. While you can have the USN Protein Dessert every day, I prefer to use it as my reward. I also plan to extend my tattoo once I have reached week six, and to get a decent pair of jeans after the 12 weeks.

To add some sprinkles to the ingredients

A lifestyle change requires commitment – remind yourself why you are making the change, what the benefits are and visualise yourself having reached your goals. 

Dedication – say no to that cupcake. Get up on a Saturday morning and go to gym, run that extra two minutes. 

Motivation – when those last four lunges seem impossible the drill sergeant in my head reminds me that today’s weakness is tomorrow’s strength. And in any case impossible actually is (I'm)possible. 

Cut it out – your taste buds will adjust. Cutting out the sugar out of my coffee was hard. When I started the USN 12-Week Challenge I was still putting in half a teaspoon of sugar. A friend then gave me the advice; cut it out – your taste buds will adjust – and it has.

Support – it helps – a lot! When we were at the Italian restaurant, bf didn’t mention once how nice the pizza was, only when we got home did he say that was the best pizza he has ever had. I appreciate that. It’s the small gestures of support and words of encouragement from bf, my (wine loving) friends and my mom. 

When it comes to a healthy lifestyle, I often hear people say, but I don’t have the time. I don’t think it’s time you need, it is support (think about it), but that is another blog for another time.

Gearing up for THE challenge

I seem to enjoy taking on challenges lately. Early last year I decided to change careers, so I enrolled into Unisa and started my BA in Psychological Counselling. In June I started a new job, in an industry I didn’t even know exists, and in December we moved out of our flat and into a house. Ok, so the last one isn’t quite a challenge, but it was a big change.

As I type this I am mentally preparing myself for my next challenge – the USN 12-Week Challenge.

Bailey Schneider took up the challenge roughly seven weeks ago and I’ve been following her progress. Last week I saw some “slightly older” pictures (before USN) of Bailey, and then some new ones. My jaw dropped and suddenly I had this thought, “hey, maybe I could…”, and so I started stewing over the thought.

Oddly enough Bailey’s slimmer figure is not what inspired me to take up the challenge, it is her attitude towards it that made the difference. Not once did Bailey say she wants to lose 20kg, or look like Heidi Klum (after all the airbrushing) – Bailey’s goal is to be the best version of herself.

For me, therein lies the secret to ensure my success – to be the best version of myself.

 

So instead of obsessing to look as good as what “she” does (referring to women we so blindly idolise) or try and fit into society’s version of perfection, I will embark on the USN 12-Week Challenge to look MY best. For me.

However, before I start this challenge, I first need to complete another – round one of exams, which conveniently ends AFTER the JoburgWine Show.