1. Snakes. I firmly believe
that all snakes’ heads should be chopped off and that they should be burned. My
fear is so intense that even the movie Snakes
on a Plane will leave me shaking out the bed sheets. Mother fucking snakes…
2. I think I might have a
slight issue with reptiles in general. I fear frogs. Not as bad as snakes, but
I have been known to let out little yelps when one hops my way.
3. Heights – I actually
tremble in my boots.
4. Parktown prawns – those
beady-eyes are creepy. Whenever Meeko brings me a parktown prawn as a present,
which happens more often that I like, I am normally found on something with me
feet up, saying “nice kitten, so clever, now-please-take-that-fucking-thing-out-of-here”.
5. Failing a subject. I am
28 and doing my first year in BA Psychological Counselling. By my calculation,
and if I can stick to the plan, I will be done with my BA by June 2016. I fear
failing a subject because it will set me back and instead of being done in 2016,
I’ll only be done in 2017.
6. “What if…”
7. That something bad will
happen to someone I love and I was unable to prevent it or protect them from
it.
Last, but surely not least, my biggest fear…
I don’t do the coochy-coo thing when I see
babies, nor do I get excited at the prospect of being a mother, I don’t go
around telling the world how we are longing for a child, I get darn annoyed
when people tell me that I must have children NOW (because I am getting old) and,
yes, at one stage I wanted to remain childless. This has led to some people
thinking that I eat children for breakfast. Sorry to disappoint, I don’t.
8. My
biggest fear is being a parent.
Unlike most I don’t see having children as a natural
progression of life. I see it as taking on the responsibility of another human
being’s soul, of their welfare – and that scares me. I fear saying something to
my child, that years later on they will remember and it will still hurt like
hell.
So there you have it – the next door neighbour’s
child is not on the breakfast menu.
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